It's 2013 and I'm in a sweaty club. My confidence is sky high and that might be because I'm already one bottle deep or rosé, but we'll never really know.
Suddenly, Rupaul's cover girl starts. I freeze. I trained for this moment my entire life. I'm channeling my Alyssa Edwards and I want the whole club to know that there is to be a lip synch battle.
I scan the crowd to see if there's a worthy contender and by god there is for he too is scanning and searching for an opponent. Our eyes lock and we gesture to the middle of the dance floor.
I start with the robot and he yawns (the nerve) and busts out the most incredible movements I've ever seen. I know I'm in trouble and if it was soccially acceptable I just might have shit myself but I'm no baby so I get back into the ring and bust out my party trick, the worm. I sense the fear in his eyes and watch as a sweat bead rolls down his face but the worm means nothing because for the first time in my life I witness a real life death drop and I know the battle has been won. I'm not even mad.
All that to say. sometimes you win in life and other times you've just gotta sashay away.
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printed on linen cardstock